“Hey Momma? I’d buy this turkey while it’s 69 cents a pound, but I don’t know how to cook it.”

Well don’t worry. Momma’s got you covered!

First things first, understand that most turkeys you buy this time of year are going to be frozen, and that frozen gobblers take a while to thaw. Your turkey needs to be thawed before you attempt any part of the cooking process. Plan on 24 hours of thaw time in the fridge per 5 pounds of turkey weight. So for that free 14 pound bird you got from Ibotta (you already got that, right?), you should plan on three days for the turkey to thaw.

Next, let’s address the age-old question: How are we cooking the turkey? There’s roasting, smoking, deep frying, and the occasional burning. We’re not going to cover burning. For this post, we’re just going to address how to roast a turkey and come away with moist and delicious poultry. Deep frying and smoking require specialty equipment that a lot of people don’t necessarily have. And let’s be real, roasting is the generally accepted as Traditional method. Uhhhh unless your family has a tradition of burning the bird. But let’s not, eh?

Now if you’ve not yet gotten your turkey, and you need an idea of how much bird to buy, plan on 1 ½ pounds of uncooked turkey per person being fed. If it sounds like a lot, remember that the meat will give off juice as it cooks, and there are bones inside also.

So, let’s dive into the Method of Delicious Turkey. I’ll post a recipe below if you’re following along and need me to walk alongside you for your virgin roast.

The Method

Thaw Your Turkey

First, get your thawed turkey out of the fridge and let it come up to room temperature, which should take at least an hour. This will help your skin not to burn before the meat is completely cooked. Pull the giblets and neck out of the cavity, if yours came with it. Don’t throw these out! Use the gizzards and neck to make a quick stock to flavor your dressing of choice.

Dry Dry Dry

Next, dry that bird. Dry. Dry dry dry. Blot with paper towels inside and out of the turkey until there’s no more moisture. Use that jumbo stack of napkins from your last Taco Bell run. You’re looking for a Sahara level of no external moisture. This helps the seasoning stick to the skin and internal cavity. Once you’re satisfied with the drying job, put the turkey into the roasting pan.

Season the Bird

This is where we address seasoning. You are going to want a softened stick of butter. (If you’ve got a jumbo bird, you’ll want two.) My hack for getting the seasoning to stick is to make a compound butter with all the seasonings you plan to use. Which is super simple. You just mix your salt, pepper, and other desired herbs and spices into the butter. Voila! Compound butter. Sure you can rub the fat all over and then apply spices, but then you risk losing some to the pan and counters in the application. But whichever you choice, please PLEASE, for the love of all that is good and wholesome in this world, Season Your Turkey.

If you’re following my compound butter trick, you’re gonna want to lift the skin over the breast, stick your hand under there, and generously smear that butter all over the meat. If you only season the outside, the skin will be amazing but the meat will be bland. Take some more of that butter and rub it all over the outside of the turkey. All over. Moisturize that poultry! Don’t be stingy with the butter. Next, make sure to repeat that all over smear the interior cavity of the bird. If you’ve followed the directions by letting the turkey warm up to room temp, the butter shouldn’t clump and glob on cold poultry. You’re welcome.

Preheat the Oven

Now is the time to start preheating your oven so it’s ready to embrace your gobbler with a toasty dry heat as soon as you’re finished preparing the turkey for the roasting. Heat the oven to 325 degrees F (163 degrees C).

Add Aromatics

Onto the aromatics! Now technically, this step isn’t 100% necessary but it does make for a seriously tasty bird. Quarter one large onion. Chunk up one large carrot. Chunk up a celery stalk or two. Grab as many cloves of garlic as you like. A sprig of rosemary if you have it. Shove ‘em all inside the body cavity. Now many turkeys come with a plastic doodad that holds the turkey legs together. If yours has one, use it to close the legs back up to help hold those veggies in. If not, grab some kitchen twine and tie the legs together to help close the cavity. Even if you skip the aromatics, this is still suggested for an even cook.

Truss the Turkey

Next, trussing the bird for the roast. If you didn’t skip the above paragraph, you’re well on your way to finishing the prep work for the turkey. If you did, you’re going to want to close the turkey legs, either using kitchen twine, or the plastic thingamabob that often comes on the turkeys to hold their legs together. Next, cut a small notch in the joint of the wings. After that, fold the wing limbs together and tuck them under the back of the turkey. The weight of the bird should help hold them in place. This helps the wing tips not to burn before everything else finishes cooking. We’re not Burning, just Roasting. (See the recipe card below for what a correctly trussed turkey looks like.)

The Big Moment!

Put the Turkey in the Oven

That’s right, friends, we’ve arrived at the moment we’ve been slogging through this blog for. The time has arrived. Put the turkey in the oven. But when you do, a note: the back of the oven is the hottest area. So instead of sliding the roasting pan sideways so one half of the bird gets more heat than the other, put it in so that the legs are in the back and the breast is nearer the oven door. The legs are dark meat and less likely to dry out than the more delicate breast. Bake according to the lovely chart below. Which is also a printable if you want a paper copy at hand. Set a timer for your cooking time.

Now comes the hard part. The wait. Still waiting. Stiiiiiiiiiiill waiting. zzzzzzzz

Do keep an eye on the turkey, since we’re still trying to avoid burning. Many turkeys these days have a little pop up that will activate when the bird has reached proper food safe temperature. If yours doesn’t, or if you’re paranoid, a meat thermometer in the middle of the thigh meat should read 165 degrees F.

Once it’s time for the turkey to exit the oven, loosely cover it with foil or parchment paper, and let it rest 20 minutes. Resting the bird will allow the juices to retract back into the meat, and the covering helps keep it warm until serving time.

A Note on Stuffing:

I’m not gonna comment or pass judgment on people’s choice of stuffing or not stuffing their turkey. That’s their decision to make. Personally, I happen to love a super moist stuffing rich with turkey drippings. Other people are terrified at the very thought. You do you. However, if you are a stuff the bird person, a couple of notes:

Don’t bother with the aromatics step; other things are going in the bird.
Don’t pack in your stuffing super tight. Spoon it in, but make sure there’s breathing room for everything to get hot and reach a safe temperature to eat. If you have extra that doesn’t fit, bake it like a dressing.
Do wait until the very last minute to stuff the turkey. Like right before it’s oven bound and no sooner.
Do let the stuffing sit inside the turkey until you’re ready to carve. The residual heat will continue to cook everything once the poultry has been removed from the oven.

Roast Turkey

Recipe by HRM Coupon QueenCourse: MainCuisine: HolidayDifficulty: Moderate

Servings

8-10

servings

Prep time

minutes

Cooking time

hours

Ingredients

12-15 pound turkey, thawed
Aromatics
1 large onion, quartered
1 large carrot, chunked
1-2 stalks celery, chunked
2-4 cloves garlic, smashed
sprig of rosemary, if desired
Compound Butter
1 stick butter, softened to room temp
salt, to taste
pepper, to taste
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. onion powder
1/2 T dried rosemary

Directions

Prepare the compound butter by mixing softened butter with seasonings. Set aside for later.
Make sure turkey is completely thawed. Allow bird to rest on counter at least an hour to take the chill off.
Remove giblets from inside cavity. Place turkey into baking pan.
Pat the turkey dry with paper towels or clean kitchen towels until all moisture is removed both on the exterior and inside the cavity.
Lift skin over the breast enough to allow a hand to fit in. Rub compound butter all over breast meat, then replace skin. Rub remaining compound butter all over the exterior of the turkey, and inside the cavity.
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F.
Place aromatics into the cavity of the turkey.
Truss turkey by tying legs together, or using supplied plastic holder (if available). Cut a notch in the joint of the wing, then tuck wing tips under the bird.
Place turkey into oven, legs first. Bake for 3-4 hours, or until internal temperature taken in thigh registers 165 degrees F.
Remove from oven and allow turkey to rest for 20-30 minutes before carving.

Notes

*The turkey can be basted during roasting time using pan drippings. However, opening the oven to do so will reduce the temperature, increasing the roasting time.
*Use the drippings to make an excellent gravy while the turkey is resting.